Archive for the ‘Journal’ Category
After spending the entire day yesterday laying around like a big lump I went to sleep and spent eight more hours doing the same thing. I came awake this morning feeling somewhat better but still not quite back to what I consider normal. More snow through the nite was just the cherry on top of this week. I’m afraid this winter has started badly with more than two and a half feet of snow before New Year’s Day. I have the feeling we’ll be buried the entire winter. Yeah for us!
In past years I joked about SNIRT season here in Maine. That’s a mixture of SNow and dIRT for all you non-Mainers. It could be a record setting year if this photo is any indication. If this weather pattern continues with a snow storm every two or three days things could get really interesting. Just west of here in the White Mountains the ski resorts are already celebrating. They have close to a five foot base and expert much much more. They could be skiing well into April and May if they’re lucky. At least someone is reaping the benefits from all this damn snow. Unfortunately I haven’t figured a way to make money from this snow but I’m continuing to explore many possibilities.
The post-Christmas cleanup continues and will take a little longer than expected. It’s hard to believe such a small group of people could create such devastation in just two days. I almost had to use a snow shovel to clean the debris from the living room. I actually lost my cat for a while when he burrowed into the pile and disappeared.
I’ve just about finished my New Year’s resolutions and should be posting them in a day or so. They would have been done sooner but I got caught up in my reading of Sherlock Holmes stories and put them on the back burner for a few more days.
More snow and ice expected tomorrow so hurry up and make your travel plans to come visit us here in Maine. We have it all; SNOW, ICE STORMS, SLEET, SLUSH and of course SNIRT.
AND THANKS TO PEDDLER FOR THIS REMINDER
THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY ONE SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS
We’ve spent most of the last two months preparing for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Since it was the first holiday season where the grandson was aware of what was going on, we went a little overboard with gifts and preparations.
On top of all of that my fiasco with this broken leg made everything that much more difficult and put more pressure on my better-half. We survived the insanity we created but just barely. I’m really hoping that next year we can learn from our mistakes and move forward just a little bit smarter. It’s hard not getting caught up in the excitement caused by having a young child in the mix because the holidays are more for him than the rest of us.
The let down with Christmas being over is unbelievable. The better-half has fallen into a post Christmas comma. She’s been sleeping for most of the day today just trying to rest and regain some normalcy. I haven’t done much better myself. I’m slowly recovering but I’m like a effing zombie today. I’m drinking a lot of coffee because my energy level is non-existent and all of my motivation to do anything else has evaporated.
We have New Year’s coming soon and thank God we don’t celebrate that holiday like these others. Two of our Christmas guests are now enroute to the Big Apple for the ultimate Times Square New Year’s Eve experience. They must be out of there freaking minds. My better half and I both get claustrophobic in a room with no more than 10 people, I can’t imagine rubbing elbows with millions of people in Times Square. That would scare the bejesus out of us both.
I’m hoping that our quiet time will continue for at least two more days where we can kick back, relax and enjoy the snowy scenery. I haven’t mentioned but we received another 4 1/2 inches of snow over the last 24 hours. It’s one of the times every winter that I enjoy the most, having a cover of fresh white snow over all the slush and dirt. These pictures were taken earlier this morning and you can see what I’m talking about.
It’s about time for me to put this computer to bed so I can get to what I’m really thinking about doing today, a long, warm and quiet nap. I’ll worry about New Year’s when it gets here.
NO MORE SHOPPING DAYS – HOORAY!
Well, another Christmas has come and gone. It’s late and the last of the family and friends have headed home. The day started early with my better-hale preparing some of her family traditions for Christmas morning. She makes a batch of cinnamon buns covered with lots of sugary icing. That and a large cup of hot coffee will definitely get your heart started. The grandson and his mom and dad arrived in late morning requiring the platter of shrimp to be unveiled and devoured. We all gathered in the living room around the tree for a time chit-chatting about this and that. It was obvious to me that everyone was just going through the motions until they could dig into the pile and open their gifts.
“The Aftermath”
As you can see an hour later and the room looked like Santa had shown up and then exploded. It took almost as long to clean up the debris as it did shopping to buy the stuff in the first place. The cat and grandson had a great time rummaging through the piles of wrapping paper and boxes seemingly more interested in that stuff than the gifts themselves. Kids!!!! Cats!!!!
Another hour has passed and everyone appears thrilled with their gifts so we snack a little more waiting for the next group to arrive. Our two visitors from northern Maine have finally arrived with tales of the previous day’s ice storm and the fact that most people up north are without electricity. It’s one of the hazards of living in Maine and those storms can be brutal. The last time we had one here we were without power for almost a week and a half. It’s difficult to sleep in a cold bed wearing a parka, gloves, and a tassel hat. It’s hard but we did it. The pictures taken during that storm are locked away where no one can seem them. We looked god awful.
After our new visitors had a beer and a few snacks the bowling tournament on the X-box began. I was able to avoid all of that because of my leg injury so I was the official photographer. Everyone had a ball with my better-half taking home the winners trophy.
Then it was my turn to cook and to fed the hoard with a decent meal. A honey-baked ham, rice, Brussels sprouts, and corn took care of everyone’s hunger pangs. It was followed later by delicious apple and pumpkin pies. Then after digesting for a while it was back to the X-box for a few rounds of darts which I also avoided by using “cleaning up the kitchen” as my excuse.
After loading up the cars they were off for the night leaving us at least two days of clean up. All in all a successful holiday gathering with a fun group of people. The better-half is scheduled for work at 5:00am and her son is flying out at 9:00am. Unfortunately none of us will be getting enough sleep tonight and we should be zombies all day tomorrow.
I hope your day was as enjoyable as ours. Merry Christmas!
Well, we have two more days of this Christmas insanity to deal with. The pressures seem to be building among the family members with minor bickering and annoyances taking over. It’s the typical holiday syndrome suffered by hundreds of thousands of families over the years and has actually become a rich traditional part of the American Christmas holiday experience.
As luck would have it, today is my day off. My better-half, her son visiting from Raleigh, her daughter, and the grandson are preparing for their last shopping foray north to L.L. Bean in Freeport, Maine. I was asked to go but there was no way in hell I was leaving the house to visit a major retail area just two days before Christmas. I may look stupid at times but not today.
I’ll be posting this blog and then relaxing for the rest of the day with a good book and a glass or two of brandy. The house will be quiet and that will be perfect. Starting tomorrow and for the next two days we’ll be running here and visiting there until we finally reach Christmas Day and the dinner at our home.
My shopping for this year is over, my gifts are wrapped, and I’m done with all of that. Now a couple of family gatherings and two excellent meals and we’ll all be worrying about and preparing for the next holiday.
In years past I was all about New Years and I celebrated it with a vengeance. It was by far my favorite holiday after Thanksgiving. But “time wounds all heals” and the fascination of drinking and carousing all night has long since past. Rushing out to spend the night in New York City with millions of others or attending one of any number of local boring parties has lost it’s charm. A quiet night with my soulmate just relaxing and enjoying each other’s company is enough.
I remember all of those crazy years with crazy people doing really crazy stuff. Our group suffered a few minor arrests and once or twice we spent some quality standing along a snowy and icy highway while our driver was put through his paces by a stern and business-like police officer. Nothing like a gigantic sobriety check point to start off the New Year. Ahhhh, sweet memories.
TWO MORE SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
Well the holiday is rushing towards us and we’re down to the last week of preparations. The weather here in Maine is certainly doing it’s part this year. It’s the eighteenth of December and we have two and a half feet of snow on the ground. It’ll be nice to have an old style white Christmas with the trees sagging low with snow and everything feeling clean and new. It also makes for some beautiful photography as you can see.
My leg is healing nicely but it appears I’ll need more time to get it back into shape. I feel a little stupid hopping around with that Walter Brennan limp but what can I do. It’s just nice to be able to walk around the house, drive my car, and to get out and do a little Christmas shopping.
I hate to admit just how much I miss being able to use those handy electric shopping carts to do my shopping. People are nicer to you, they get out of the way, and even let you get ahead of them in line at the register. I’m a bit spoiled I guess. I’ve come up with a solution for that problem though. I’m going to start carrying the air cast and crutches in my car. I’ll arrive at Walmart, put on the boot, grab the crutches and make my way inside to claim my cart. That’s what I call a real emergency kit. My luck, I’ll get caught doing it the first time.
I have a few more stocking stuffers to buy this week and my holiday prep will be complete. Thank God for Amazon who made my Christmas so much easier to deal with this year. Shop, click, and bing, bang, boom . . . it arrives at your house in two days. Next year I may attempt to make it a total Amazon holiday. I’ll first sign up for Amazon Prime which for $79.00 gives me free shipping on all purchases for a year. Order anything and everything I need for the holidays, have it nicely wrapped, and shipped with a card to relatives and friends anywhere on the planet. It’s called a "one click" holiday season.
My better-half has been like a crazy person for the last few weeks but she appears to have accomplished all of her tasks and is calming down a little. The house is just about ready for guests and family and enough beer has been purchased to keep her in that sentimental mindset which help’s her enjoy the holidays. She’s worked very hard this year to get everything done and ready without my help and it’s looking terrific.
She and her daughter spent a good part of the day yesterday doing something they both love. Manicures and pedicures all around. I gave my better-half a gift certificate for two of each a few weeks ago for her birthday. I knew it would come in handy during "crazy week". They were pampered and lotioned until they had no choice but to be happy and smiling. There’s nothing like a good looking guy rubbing and scrubbing your feet and waiting on you hand-and-foot. One of these days I might be forced to give it a try myself but with a good looking woman.
SIX MORE SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
I received my second gift of this Fall season yesterday. My first gift was my broken leg that occurred at the end of October. The second gift was the doctor declaring my leg healed after just six weeks and ordering the removal of the air cast and those dirty, rotten, miserable, and effing crutches. Also, he felt physical therapy wouldn’t be necessary either. He slapped on a small and unobtrusive ankle brace which allows me to once again wear a normal shoe and walk on two feet. I was on my way home and I was thrilled BUT . . . . .
You’d think I’d be happier but over the years I’ve discovered that every silver cloud has a dark and disturbing chewing center. During my two months of hopping around on one leg I forgot just how much of a negative effect not using that leg could be. I lost almost thirty percent of the muscle mass in my leg in just 2 months. I also was so concerned about the broken bone that I gave very little thought to the damage my knee suffered in the same accident. Now that I’m able to put full weight on the leg the knee is screaming for attention. I gave up the cast for an ankle brace and gave up the crutches for a knee brace. There seems to be no end to this madness and some one somewhere is intent on having me hobbled for Christmas. It’s a little spooky.
I decided to celebrate with my better-half on my return to two legged walking and we planned a night out to have some fun. First we had to babysit the grandson on my first nite back which was fun like always. My better-half returned to work the next day and upon her arrival home she was complaining endlessly about all of the sick employees who’d been calling off and leaving early due to some kind of virus. The next morning I was lying in bed and felt the dreaded tickle in the back of my throat. Twenty-four hours later I’m sneezing, my nose is running, and the fever is building. I’ve now been on my back for two days with some sort of damn flu courtesy of either my grandson or my better-half. K M N !!!
If I don’t catch anymore diseases or break anymore bones I hope to be back on my feet by Christmas. I’d just be happy to feel good and be able to walk into the kitchen unaided by anyone or anything. I certainly hope New Years remains uneventful. I’ll be locking myself up in solitary confinement on the 26th and staying there for the rest of the month. No contact with my better-half, no visits from my cat, and especially no visits or contact from that disease carrying little runt of a grandson. The party will be a quiet one but at least I’ll be feeling better. I’m hoping against hope that 2014 is a vast improvement over this year.
And here’s the cherry on top of my December sundae. I awoke this morning to find fifteen inches of snow covering everything. I immediately attacked it with my snow blower to help my better-half go to work. Big surprise, I traveled no more than 100 feet and it died. They say things come in threes so I think I should be good for a while.
DECK THE EFFING HALLS
I found out the hard way that having a broken leg as we come into the holiday season is a mixed blessing. I’m three and a half weeks into this injury with at least three more weeks before I can start walking on it again on a limited basis. I’m quickly finding out that the boredom and being housebound is worse than the actual injury itself.
I found myself becoming a little hard to live with since I’ve apparently developed a rather bad temper. I just can’t seem to adjust to this slower lifestyle and my better-half is paying the price for it. With lots of Christmas season activities on the horizon she’ll be overloaded with decorating, baking, and house cleaning. I plan on helping where I can but truthfully I won’t be much help.
I put myself on her sh** list a few days ago. She knew how much I was itching to get out of the house so she took my car keys to work with her to keep me from doing something crazy. Being the persistent pain-in-the-ass that I am I found my extra set of keys hidden in a secret location. I hobbled to the garage, jumped in the car and drove a few miles to get a fresh cup of coffee and a sandwich. It wasn’t easy fitting my big ass, crutches, and the huge air cast into the front seat but I did it anyway. I made the trip without incident and returned home feeling pretty proud of myself. That lasted until my better-half got home from work then the you-know-what hit the fan. I’m now officially grounded. That hasn’t happened to me for a very long time and I don’t like it any better now than I did then. I pushed my luck with my little trip but now I’m paying the price for my stupidity.
I returned to the orthopedist for my three week exam and received nothing but good news. The bone is knitting itself nicely and no surgery will be required. I’m now permitted to slowly increase the amount of weight on it over the next three weeks. At that point I’ll be scheduled for some limited physical therapy and hopefully I’ll be back on my feet and ready to party by New Years.
I wouldn’t wish this kind of injury on my worst enemy. It’s frustrating and humbling to find yourself helpless. Last night as I was watching TV I heard my better-half upstairs doing something. A few minutes later she started down the steps when I heard a loud crash. She screamed my name and I hopped my way over to the stairs. She had fallen much like I had and fortunately only bruised her thigh, leg, and hand. She broke no bones but she’ll be sore as hell for a few days. We should be made the official poster children for CLUMSY. I may be forced to install a damn elevator so the two of us don’t cripple ourselves permanently.
Happy Effing Holidays! 2013, a year to remember and then immediately forget.
Today is my ninth day living in this one-legged hell my life has become. I’ve learned a few valuable things in these nine days and I thought I’d share them with you.
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First, don’t break your damn leg. I know it’s a bit simplistic but sometimes you just need to be told the obvious.
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Second, hope and pray your relationship is solid because it will be tested. I’ve become somewhat irritable and difficult or at least that’s what my better-half has been screaming at me.
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Third, prepare yourself for the realization that all it takes is a small bone in your leg to break to turn you into a giant dependent ball of human flesh.
I was raised to be as independent as possible and have spent my entire life just that way. I hate relying on anyone for anything. I’ve had a few times in my life where I was laid up for a day or two but nothing like this. Six to eight weeks of sitting on my ass and stumbling around the house being unable to do a damn thing. It’s incredibly frustrating to say the least. My better-half remains supportive but realizes I’m quickly going out of my mind with cabin fever.
I’ve improved my walking abilities with these crutches but it’ll never be enough to make this situation bearable. Since I’m unable to carry coffee and walk on crutches at the same time it took a day or two for me to solve that problem. A sealable carry-mug that fits nicely into my pocket was the solution. I can now walk/hop/drag a leg to the kitchen, retrieve some coffee, and return to my chair. It sounds stupid I know but it’s a major accomplishment for me.
Thank God for my X-Box and IPad. Those two devices are the only things keeping me from going bat-shit crazy. I’ve always spent a lot of time on the X-Box but now it’s totally out of control. I’m afraid I may be developing a serious case of X-Box thumbs. The IPad has allowed me to connect with hundreds of other addicted Scrabble fanatics to play Word HD with Friends. A great little App that allows me to continuously play multiple games with people from around the country. The time really flies by very quickly when I’m focused in those games.
I received some good news on my follow-up visit to the orthopedist today. The leg is healing properly and no surgery will be required. I’m to spend the next two weeks doing things much the same as I’ve been doing. That news raised my morale a bit and hopefully in two more weeks I’ll be permitted to put some weight on the leg which will really jump start this recovery.
One other quick note. My better-half suggested a trip to Walmart today to pickup a few items and somehow strong-armed me into riding on one of their infamous electric carts. I put up a good fight but there was no talking to her. For years I’ve bitched and complained about certain people on those carts blocking aisles and being a general nuisance to other shoppers. Well, today I joined the elite ranks of the Walmart Disabled Shoppers Group. I was hoping for a Walmart hat or T-shirt but sadly I was out of luck. They wanted to give me a pair of pink sweat pants that had “JUICY” on the ass but I declined. Pink just isn’t my color. It clashes way too much with my purple sweatshirt and my orange Budweiser baseball cap. That’s my official Walmart shopping outfit.
We’re headed back home now where I’ll enjoy another afternoon of Scrabble, Tiger Woods 2011, and really bad TV. I must have done something really terrible in a past life to deserve this karmic ass-kicking.
I thought an update might be warranted since I left in such a hurry yesterday. I’ll make it short and sweet. My leg was broken and the knee was badly bruised but oddly enough I had very little pain with either injury. My better-half arrived in short order and whisked me away to the local Emergency Room.
I was then lucky enough to spend a great part of my day sitting on my ass in the Emergency Room. First I got to chat with a fortyish women at the main desk who must have had her personality removed surgically. It was like trying to talk to my computer. When she was finished annoying me I was wheeled down the hall about ten feet to a waiting room where I sat for twenty minutes. A rather large but friendly woman whose job it was to obtain all of my personal information then took twenty minutes doing it. That’s just the hospital’s routine of getting all of my insurance information and anything else that may help them avoid a lawsuit down the road. With my leg still sticking up in the air I was jockeyed around the corner, thirty feet away, for another fifteen minutes where I was soon discovered by their computer geek who entered all of my data into their computer system and then filled my pockets with a huge pile of forms that further explained the hospitals privacy laws to me. Ho Effing Hum!
An hour and a half has now passed and I have yet to see or smell a doctor. I’m taken to an freezing cold examination room where I sat for another half hour and still no doctor. A young lady who looked twenty but sounded thirteen pushed me and my new best friend, the wheelchair, down the hall to x-ray. I was back in twenty minutes and told to wait for the doctor to arrive to explain things to me.
I become bored at that point and started nosing around their little room. As a payback for their insensitivity in leaving me sitting forever I managed to stand long enough to steal a dozen sets of really nice latex gloves from a dispenser on the wall. The next time I’m slicing and dicing hot peppers I can use those gloves and just grin a little.
Fifteen minutes later the doctor walks into the room, introduces himself, and states emphatically “it’s broken”. He drops another handful of forms on the table explaining how to use my new crutches. A nurse shows up and slaps on three ace bandages, a temporary splint, gives me a set of crutches, and the name and telephone number of an orthopedic doctor I need to call for an appointment. She advised that if I called as soon as possible I might get lucky and get in to see the doctor within a day or so. I was wheeled to my car, patted on the head, and sent on my way.
That was three hours of my life I’ll never get back. All I really received was a grand tour of their facility, free use of a wheelchair for three hours, three ace bandages, a fiberglass splint, and a really lovely pair of crutches. Fortunately I called the orthopedist from my car and was able to get an appointment for tomorrow. It would have been easier and cheaper just to cut the damn leg off and call it a day.
Trust me, I’ll keep you updated.
Well I was planning on spending some time writing about a few useless things today but it appears that won’t be happening. I was out of bed and on my second cup of coffee and feeling pretty good. That ended just a few minutes ago without much warning. I was going downstairs to take out some trash and to turn on the computer. Our main staircase is about thirty steps straight down to the ground floor and I just made that trip in just under two seconds.
Now I’m sitting here waiting for my ride to the hospital because I think I may have broken my leg or my ankle or just injured them badly. The pain is bad but not critical but I can’t walk on it at all. So I crawled to the computer and I’m sitting here writing this just to keep my mind occupied for a while.
I should have known that something bad was going to happen after the weird dreams I experienced just before waking this morning. I dreamt about meeting up with Bill Clinton, having a few drinks at his club, and then being abandoned when he and his driver unexpectedly left me standing along the road.
I walked a few blocks and managed to flag down a large car which strangely enough had a cargo of inmates from a local jail. The driver was kind enough to relay a message via radio to Slick Willie. He was given our location and told where to met us so he could pick me up. As his limo drove up he was standing up in the open sun roof waving at the many females walking along the side walk. He waved to me once, winked cutely, and then drove right on by and off into the sunset. All in all it was typical of what I would have expected from that SOB. Unfortunately Monica had been nowhere in sight during our encounter and fortunately for me Hillary was missing as well.
That’s the kind of dream (nightmare) I never have. Dreaming of liberals should have immediately alerted me to the real possibility of problems today but I wasn’t paying close enough attention. So here I sit in anticipation of a not-so-great day in an emergency room, being poked and prodded, and returning home unable to walk without crutches for the foreseeable future.
Just freaking wonderful Bill. I thought the days of you making me miserable were over but you’re that proverbial gift that keeps on giving. Shoot me now.
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