I enjoy writing this blog but there are times it could drive a person to drink. Responding to some of the inane comments is time consuming and boring and many critics have been sent packing from this blog and occasionally if they p*ss me off enough they get blocked. Most criticisms are like water running off a ducks back because they consist mostly of a steady stream of BS but also loads and loads of your good old fashion boring political rhetoric. My solution is to ignore damn near everything, laugh my ass off, and then have a cold refreshing alcoholic beverage or whiskey. Todays post will concern trivial facts about the drinking of many of our favorite beverages. Here we go. . . .
The spot on the planet with the highest per capita consumption of wine is a tiny Pacific island of Norfolk with a population of approximately 1800. Their rate of consumption per capita is 77.8 bottles per year. (If I’d known this years ago I would have changed my retirement plans.)
And to continue my somewhat combative relationship with religion it should be noted that the Vatican City comes in a close second. Those jolly cardinals, priests, and Pope have a annual per capita consumption of 76 bottles. (Can I get a BIG AMEN!!)
Just to be fair the following five locations aren’t far behind: Andorra, Croatia, Portugal, Slovenia, and Macedonia. (This final tidbit makes me smile a little. France comes in a measly eighth.)
Since I’m a confirmed hater of beer I’ll give a big shout out to Czechoslovakia who is far and away the winner of annual per capita beer consumption at 142.6 liters.Austria and Germany are third andforth and Poland is sixth. The U.S.A. places 17th while the British bitter beer and port consumption brings them in at 28th place. (No wonder we revolted.)
Lets talk about something I love – WHISKEY. The UK is well down the list with a per capita consumption of 1.25 liters. India and Ireland come in at 1.24 liters but the big winner in whiskey consumption is surprisingly France at 2.15 liters a year or 87 shots per person. (I guess It takes a lot to make those hairy ladies in France sexually attractive. LOL)
I’m not addressing the world’s vodka consumption today because it would take another lengthy post to even scratch the surface. That topic will be addressed at a later date.
I’ve been told for many years by a host of dog loving family members, neighbors, and assorted experts that “dogs are a mans best friend“. I think in some cases that’s true based on my years of experience with my father who raised and trained beagles. Our house was constantly filled with herds of puppies and I had the misfortune of shoveling a few thousand wheelbarrow loads of dog sh*t as one of my many disgusting chores. I’ve owned a few dogs over the years but finally came to realize and admit that I’m quite simply a “cat person“. I still like dogs but only if they’re someone else’s. Todays post is primarily for all of you dog lovers out there and includes a few of my favorite dog jokes which don’t require me to shovel anything.
What do you call a gathering of Pomeranians at a bar? YAPPY HOUR
What’s a dogs favorite wine? PLEASE, PLEASE, THROW MY BALL.
What are a dogs three favorite drinks at the bar? A MUTTINI, A COSMOPOODLETIN, AND AN AVALANCHE FOR ALL THOSE ST. BERNARDS OUT THERE.
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Oh, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five.”
Dogs will come if you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you.
My Favorite Dog Haiku
The sound of dog treats
Shaking inside their box
It’s like the angels singing.
A police officer and his K-9 partner were sitting in a parked police van on the side of the road. A little boy looked in the back of the van, then came around to the officers window and knocked. The office rolled down the window. “Is that a dog you’ve got back there?” the boy asked. “It sure is.” the policeman replied. The boy looked back at the van, then back to the officer. “What did he do?” asked the boy.
I realize that it may be a little too early to be posting on this subject but what the hell. Every year I tease myself by listing a number of resolutions for the new year. My success rate leaves much to be desired but occasionally I actually DO complete a few. I’m posting early because my rate of success this year has been dismal. I’d blame some of it on my better-half who just completed her first year of retirement. To say she’s been a huge distraction is an understatement – goodbye to my wonderful days of PEACE & QUIET. Here’s my list for 2025 and all my lame excuses.
Read at least 100 books by years end(more if possible). If I finish reading my current book by years-end I will have read only 88 books. FAILED
Complete at least four illustrations for use as gifts for next Christmas. COMPLETED
Complete one sculpture using a technique I haven’t used before.FAILED – Due to my total lack of interest and laziness. Maybe this coming year I can get it done.
Show more patience to my better-half’s retirement adjustments.COMPLETED – I’ve shown more patience than ever before but I have a long way to go to satisfy her.
Attempt to write some serious poetry that’s worth reading.FAILED – Completed a few poems and a couple of limericks but I wasn’t happy with the less than adequate results.
Continued monitoring of the grandsons for new and exciting cuss words.COMPLETED – This may have been the easiest one to complete. It’s official, and thanks to day care, school, and some family adults the “F-Bomb” has been released. I’m so proud!!
Continue to ignore all of the weird and bizarre health tips from the Internet.COMPLETED – Thanks to all you internet experts and your misguided and incorrect medical BS.
My final tally was disappointing – 4 of 7 completed. I still have a few weeks to give a great deal of thought for my resolutions for 2026. It’s good to set goals even if you’re reasonably certain they won’t all be met.
Today is the perfect day as we sit around waiting for the bird to be cooked for a “Foodie Quiz”. These questions are all related to food and drink in some fashion or another. I suppose if we could answer six of these ten incredibly difficult questions we would be considered something of an “foodie” expert. As always the answers will be listed below.
The father of what American poet invented peppermint Life Savers?
How many pounds of roasted, ground coffee does one coffee tree produce annually?
What product did Mother Nature personally endorse in a television commercial, and who played the role?
How tall was celebrity chef Julia child’s?
How many lemons does the average lemon tree yield per year?
❤️THE CAFFEINE MACHINE❤️
What is Bombay duck?
What American city lead all others in per capita consumption of pizza in 1990?
How long would a 130 pound person have to walk at a leisurely pace to burn off the calories in a McDonald’s Big Mac?
How much money did American Airlines claim it saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each of the salads served in first-class?
A pound of ground coffee yields 50 cups. How many cups does a pound of tea yield?
BIG MAC ATTACK
This is my favorite since I’m an avid fan of ice cream and a so-so fan of religion.
How did the ice cream sundae get its name?
❤️YUM, YUM, YUM!❤️
Answers
Hart Crane son of Clarence, Just one, Chiffon Margarine; Dena Dietrich played Mother Nature, 6’2″, 1500, Dry, salted fish, Milwaukee, Two hours and 1 minute, $40,000, 200, **My Fav: The sundae was created in Evanston, Illinois, in the late 19th century to get around a Sabbath ban on selling ice-cream sodas. It was dubbed Sunday but spelled with an “e” instead of a “y” to avoid religious objections.
I’ve been on a roll of late with a collection of weird and unusual trivia facts but I think today I’m taking it one step further. I like weird and strange! I’ve never denied it and I’ll prove once again by offering up more information that isn’t common knowledge. Humans are imaginative and creative and extremely strange at times. Here’s proof of that and I hope you enjoy it. Inventions of the WEIRD.
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The Motorized Ice Cream Cone: ( Patent issued in 1999)
Just push the handy on/off switch on the side of the cone and your ice cream will spin around and around, and all you have to do is stick out your tongue.
Pet Petter: (Patent issued in 1989)
If you don’t have the time to constantly coddle your pet, the Pet Petter does. An electric eye sees your pet and signals the electronic motors to start swinging a petting arm tipped with a humanlike hand.
Toilet Snorkel: (Patent issued in 1982)
In most fires, it’s the smoke that will get you, and a source of fresh air can be a lifesaver. So here it is – a way to snake a snorkel through the zigs and zags of your toilet, so you can brief underwater.
Motorcycle Airbag: (Patent issued in 1989)
An all-over body suit airbag designed to cushion the motorcyclist’s fall in an accident. Air is forcibly ejected from the bike, the suit swells from compressed gas. It covers the arms, legs, and torso, along with a soft landing.
Life Expectancy Watch: (Patent issued in 2002)
This invention counts backwards toward the date of your eventual demise. You program the watch by answering a series of questions about your lifestyle such as exercise, eating habits, and alcohol and tobacco use. Your remaining time is conveniently displayed in years.
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A FAVORITE FUN FACT
Thomas Edison filed 1,093 patents, including those for the light bulb, electric railways, and the movie camera. When he died in 1931, he held 34 patents for the telephone, 141 for batteries, 150 for the telegraph, and 389 patents for electric lights and power.
The English language is brutal. I don’t envy anyone coming to this country without any English speaking skills because I’ve lived here my whole life and I still don’t have a handle on everything. Virtually everything that we talk about or speak about originally came from our distant past going back thousands of years. I thought I was up-to-speed as far as the language goes but once again I was sadly mistaken. Today’s post will introduce you to some words that you’re familiar with and others not so much. When I can I will identify the original word. As always, answers are at the end and no peeking please.
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What is the meaning of the Greek word “kosmetikos”, from which we get the word cosmetics?
A milligram is a thousandth of a gram. What’s a “picogram”?
What do “noologists” study?
What kind of voice does someone have if he or she is “oxyphonic”?
What does the word “climax” mean in Greek?
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How did the “duffel” bag in its name?
What’s the difference between a nook and a cranny?
What word originated as the nickname for a English insane asylum?
What flowers name means nose-twitching in Latin – a name bestowed upon it because of its pungent aroma?
A bibliophile is a collector of rare books. What is a “bibliopole”?
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What was the original meaning of the word “clue”?
What is the origin of the expression “on the Q. T.”?
What is the literal translation of the pasta “vermicelli”?
What were the very first item is referred to as gadgets?
What is a “funambulist”?
🖋️🖋️🖋️
Answers
Skilled in decorating, 1 trillionth of a gram, The mind, Unusually shrill, “Ladder”. In Greece is spelled klimax, From the Belgian town of Duffel, A nook is a corner; a cranny is a crack, Bedlam, The nasturtium, A seller of rare books, A ball of thread or yarn – which makes the concept of unraveling a clue all the more meaningful, The word quiet – from its first and last letters, Little worms, Miniatures of the Statue of Liberty sold in Europe in 1886, A tightrope walker.
I love reading odd facts about damn near anything. For years I religiously read the Darwin Awards and while they offer stories on weird ways to die, they are at times humorous as hell. People might take offense to that but I really don’t care because funny is still funny regardless of the circumstances. I recently stumbled upon three short stories on death that actually became a part of history. They’re not all that funny but they are definitely interesting. Let’s get started.
On September 14, 1899, Henry Bliss stepped down from a streetcar at West 74th and Central Park West in New York City. As he turned to help a female passenger down the stairs, he was struck by a passing cab, making the 68-year-old man the first pedestrian ever killed by an automobile in the United States.
Five years after their historic first flight at Kitty Hawk, the Wright brothers took their new plane, the Wright Flyer, on a cross-country tour to prove it could safely carry passengers. The third stop was at Fort Myers, Virginia, on September 17, 1908. As a crowd of 2000 cheered, Orville Wright and his passenger, Lt. Thomas E. Selfridge of the US Army Signal Corps, lifted off into the sky. Then the propeller snapped in two and the Wright Flyer nosedived 150 feet to the ground. Selfridge was killed instantly; Wright suffered multiple hip and leg fractures that plagued him with chronic pain for the rest of his life. This was the first documented death on an airplane.
Here’s another oldie but goodie that occurred during the September 15, 1833 at the launch of the Liverpool and Manchester Railway in England. It was attended by the Duke of Wellington and William Huskisson, a member of Parliament. Ignoring the engineers warning to remain on the train, Huskisson joined the other passengers and disembarked to gawk at the engines lined up on the parallel tracks. He stepped onto an empty track just as an engine called the Rocket barreled into the station. Huskisson fell beneath the wheels of the locomotive and lost his leg and died a few minutes later. He was unaware that he had made history as the first person ever killed by a train.
I’ve been called many things in my life. Some were complimentary and others not so much. My all-time favorite without a doubt is that I’m a sarcastic son-of-bitch. To me that is nothing more than a badge of honor which I wear proudly. Most people know the word sarcastic but have no idea what it really means. I’ve spent many years honing my sarcasm skills so today I’m now willing to share some of them with you. Here are some commonly used words with a beautiful yet sarcastic explanation. Read on my sarcastically uneducated and challenged readers.
CALM-What you are usually urged to remain around the time the third engine on the aircraft has failed.
PERFECTIONIST-The worst kind of boss; the best kind of sex partner.
PERKY-Lively, jaunty, brisk, or to put it another way, just asking for a punch in the damn face.
PUBLIC RESTROOM-A place containing toilet seats that make you wish you could be taught how to hover.
REALITY-A state in which you assume everybody else resides, until you start dating.
REGRET-The gnawing, inescapable feeling that behaving like a total dick for your entire life may not have been such a good idea.
MACHO-A form of overstated masculinity, requiring males to live in a state of constant readiness to whip it out and see whose is bigger.
NITPICK-To rip someone a new one without leaving anything out.
DRUNK-Intoxicated with alcoholic beverages. An absolutely crucial component in the decision to photocopy one’s ass cheeks.
DRESS-Something that does not, I said not, make you look fat.
DEGREE-A certificate of academic achievement awarded at the college level. Comes in very handy when asking people if they want fries with that.
CHIVALRY-Considerate behavior that a man completely abandons right after as many dates as it takes to get a woman into bed.
BAR-A place where lonely, desperate people go to get hammered enough to find other lonely, desperate people suddenly irresistible.
HOTDOG-The toenails, lips, and eyebrows of various animals served on a bun.
HUNGOVER- A condition that makes figuring out who was next to you in bed this morning take anywhere from five minutes to a lifetime.
I’m a huge fan of using quotations in my posts from the rich, the famous, and the wannabe famous. I thought today would be a good day to give kudos to the one person who supplies us with endless quotations that are almost always funny, truthful, and many times sarcastic. That writer is Mr. Anonymous. I did a little research this morning and came up with 15 quotes from Mr. Anonymous that I really liked and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did. Here they are.
“Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults but for having faults different from ours.“
“The Eiffel Tower in Paris is the Empire State building after taxes.“
“One reassuring thing about modern art is that things can’t possibly be as bad as they are painted.“
“An average film is where the actor has more lines in his face than in his script.“
“Modern art is when you buy a picture to cover a hole in the wall and then decide the hole looks much better.“
“Dancing is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.“
“Hollywood is Malice in Wonderland.“
“If white bread could sing it would sound like Olivia Newton John.“
“Television is a box that has changed children from an irresistible force into an immovable object.“
“Parents never appreciate a teacher unless it rains all weekend.“
MR. ANONYMOUS
“You can tell a Harvard man, but you can’t tell him much.“
“Psychology is the science that tells you what you already know in words you don’t understand.“
“Eating food with a knife and fork is like making love through an interpreter.“
“If you speak three languages your trilingual. If you can speak two languages you are bilingual. If you can only speak one language you’re an American.“
“A Hollywood marriage is one in which the couple vow to be faithful until after the honeymoon.“
And now I’ll offer up one of my own quotes:
“OLD AGE AND RETIREMENT ARE JUST KARMIC RETRIBUTION”
Now that 47 has begun his presidency the media and its leftwing troops have been forced to fill the airways with a few new and stupid additions to the English language. Fake News, Unalive, and Lib-tards to name a few. The new-but-old standbys will once again be introduced by the lib-tards such as Nazis, Dictator, and King. Everyone is well aware of the phrase (Fake News) especially in the US and the UK. The UK citizens are being fed a constant stream of BS by the government and the BBC and if they dare to complain they’re sure to be arrested by the Thought Police. It’s a bitch living in a country that has no First Amendment but instead they sill have their effing Monarchy (Too Bad, So Sad):
In the original draft of the Bill of Rights, what is now the First
Amendment occupied third place. The first two articles were
not ratified by the states, so the article on disestablishment
and FREE SPEECH ended up being first.
I could list more but what’s the point. The words are meaningless for the most part and are only used by politicians who’ve have lost their party and their minds. I’ll be listing a few words in todays post that aren’t commonly known but maybe the lib-tards can adopt a few of them for their “speechifying” (a shout out for Mark Twain who used that word often).
ROWELL: the revolving star on the back of a cowboys spurs.
COLUMELLA: the bottom part of the nose that separates the nostrils.
NITTLES: the punctuation marks used to denote swear words in comic books.
OBDERMITION: when an arm or a leg “goes to sleep” as a result of numbness caused by pressure on a nerve.
FERRULE: the metal band on the top of the pencil that hold the eraser in place.
ARMSATE: the hole in a shirt or a sweater through which you put your hand and arm.
RASCETA: the creases on the inside of your wrist.
OPHYRON: the space between your eyebrows
PURLICUE: the space between the extended thumb and index finger.
KEEPER: the loop on a belt that holds the end in place after it has passed through the buckle.
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YOU CAN’T BLAME THESE ON 47(UNLESS YOU’RE A LIB-TARD)
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