Archive for the ‘Just Saying’ Category
I’ve just about made myself cross-eyed today. I’ve been putting off for months what I’m in the middle of doing. I decided that I’ve procrastinated long enough and the review of almost fifteen thousand photographs has begun. Once all of them has been reviewed and the duplicates eliminated I can then do a complete backup which will go into safe storage at another location. It took me almost ten years of hard work to take these photos and I’m finding it difficult to discard any of them. It’s the perfect Fall season job where I can sit back, relax and do things properly.
I take everything in high resolution mode and as you know that requires a great deal of memory for storage. I thought three years ago that having a terabyte of hard drive memory would last me for many years. I underestimated a little and now find my drive almost fifty percent full. I may be forced into buying a large removable hard drive or signing up for one of those off-site backup systems through one of the those companies offering that service.
Winter is always the perfect time for such projects. A few years ago I spent a great deal of my winter converting my extensive music CD collection to MP3’s. It took a long time but was well worth the effort. I find doing time consuming projects very relaxing and the more difficult the better. I know it sounds stupid but it’s true none the less.
I’ve also decided that reindexing all of the photos is necessary because during my first years using an DSLR I was a newbie to digital photography and did what I consider to be a haphazard job. I’ll now spend a good portion of this Winter going back and redoing each and every one. If my estimate is correct it should take me well into January to get it done right once and for all.
It should go a long way to help me in the creation of a number of photo books I’ve been considering. I discovered that without a thorough indexing job it’s possible for me to lose photo’s I remember taking. It can frustrate the hell out of a person when your forced to manually search through thousands of pictures because you indexed one photo improperly.
Well, I have a lot to do over the next five months and I should get started. No idle hands for me this Winter.
Before I hop on my newly purchased torture device I thought I’d get these answers from yesterdays quiz on their way to you. I tried the quiz on a few others yesterday and they had some difficulties to be sure. I threw two current events questions in just for the hell of it and I’m sorry I did. How can a person living in this country where we’re up to our ass in media not know anything about the Boston Marathon bombing case. I’m sorry to say this was someone in their fifties who just isn’t paying attention. Unbelievable is the word I’m looking for. Here are your answers.
1. Jordin Sparks
2. Chemical weapons
3. Trapt
4. 27
5. Miriam Makeba
6. Lego
7. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
8. Weezer
9. One was shot and killed by police, and the other was captured in a massive manhunt.
10. Destiny Hope Cyrus
Before I step onto this treadmill for my daily workout I’m sitting here lining up the music I’ll be listening to. Today will be Beatles day. I’ve loved them for years and their music still holds up even to our current Hip Hop generation. In memory of the Fab Four here are a few facts about them that fans will appreciate.
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John Lennon had dyslexia.
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Paul McCartney and Pete Best were once arrested in Hamburg because they stuck a condom to a wall and set it on fire.
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In the 60’s Paul McCartney had three cats named Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
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Only 6% of Beatles autographs currently in circulation are estimated to be real.
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John Lennon’s favorite food was cornflakes.
Enough of this nonsense. I’ve got a date to sweat through my clothing and I need to get started. Tomorrow is another day.
It’s been an interesting few weeks for me starting with my annual doctor’s visit. They always try to put a good spin on things until the very end of the visit. Everything’s fine, everything looks good, the blood tests were perfect except for “one little thing”. I’m a little paranoid of doctors on a good day but when you here “one little thing” you just hold your breath because you know something bad is coming.
It wasn’t a major catastrophe but worrisome none the less. I’m in the diabetes danger zone with my blood sugar and steps need to be taken to remedy the problem immediately. That entails being placed on a no sugar and no carb diet. What that really means is I’ll never be able to eat a decent meal again or at least for quite some time. The upside is that if I’m able to lose enough weight I’ll be able to stop taking 90% of the prescription medication I’m currently taking for blood pressure and cholesterol. The doctor was rather adamant about his instructions which convinced me to pay close attention and do what I’m told for once. Since my father died from diabetes related problems it’s time for me to wise up and get with the program. No more sugar, no more carbs, reduced dairy, reduced portions, and a minimum of twenty minutes of vigorous walking a day.
My first step was to inform my better-half who as always is there for support. My second step was making a trip to the local Sears where I found a treadmill that would fill my requirements. With Winter approaching, walking on the roads becomes problematic and I hate being required to drive any distance to a gym. It was delivered a week later and that’s when the fun begin. Being the cheap bastard that I am I refused to pay $75.00 to have it built. Three hours later I had it in place and operational. For most of my life I’ve played sports of one type of another but never ever used a treadmill. I was able to use it experimentally for a day or two without killing myself.
It’s now almost two weeks later and I’m on my way to being a treadmill expert. This treadmill makes things very easy to do and gives me the ability to track heart rate, incline, distance, and much much more. I’m doing approximately 35 minutes a day at a medium speed walk. Having a television in the room has made it even easier. Starting tomorrow I’m going to do two thirty minutes sessions a day. I’m already down almost ten pounds in the first three weeks. That’s a little fast but what the hell, it’s all good.
My goal as set by the doctor is a fifteen pound loss by February and an additional fifteen pounds by next August. Then I’ll be lean and mean and hopefully medication free. It’s a goal worth reaching and could add ten years to my life. I’m good with that.
How many times a week are you told by others that your way of doing things could be better, meaning their way. It’s amazing to me how everyone thinks their way is the absolute best way. I can understand it totally because at times I feel that way myself.
I’ve had close friends and family with no practical experience in much of anything tell me how I should invest my money, romance a woman, what food to eat, and what kind of job I should have. Everyone is an effing expert in everything it seems. It’s funny that the guy with no girlfriends or prospects is the expert on romance. The guy who doesn’t have two cents in his pocket or bank account is the one telling me what stocks are going to go through the roof. Maybe it’s the woman with no children who spends all of her time telling her married girlfriends how to raise their children. It’s maddening.
To quote one of my favorite song lyrics, “Opinions are like assholes and everybody’s got one.” I’ve learned over the years who I can rely on for good information and those hundreds who haven’t had a good idea about anything in recent memory. I’ve also learned not to voice any of my own opinions unless I’m asked. I may stand in a group of friends and listen to them tell each other how to live their lives without saying a single word. It makes me the guy who never has to hear those dreaded words, “Your advice sucked.”
I suppose it’s always been that way. People telling people what will happen in the future, how they should live their lives and they do it in such a way it’s seemed logical at the time. Here are some predictions I’ve discovered from so-called experts that were so bad I just had to pass them along.
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"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
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"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
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"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won’t last out the year."
The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
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"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
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"This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."
Western Union internal memo, 1876.
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"We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
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"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.
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"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You’re crazy."
Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.
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"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."
Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project.
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"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.
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"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
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"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances."
Dr. Lee De Forest, inventor of the vacuum tube and father of television.
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"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899
As you can see even people with impressive resumes aren’t experts in everything like they think they are. I‘m certainly glad I never had these experts whispering in my ear and giving me advice about anything important. Everything comes back to good old “common sense”. Constantly being negative about things just stifles creativity and can make you one miserable and unhappy SOB and also reward you with an honorable mention on this blog.
I like many others have been married and divorced. It’s truly a painful process but with just about fifty percent of marriages doomed to failure it’s an experience millions of people must deal with. Unfortunately the collateral damage from a divorce extends to the children. It’s difficult to find many children who aren’t touched by divorce in some fashion or another these days.
As sympathetic as I am to their plight, I actually think that keeping a marriage together for the children is a mistake. Having them be a witness to the down and dirty fighting between their parents and then further manipulation by both parents for custody rights is the worst. Those kind of scars last a lifetime.
Kids are much more resilient than adults think and can adapt to changing circumstances fairly quickly. The following children were asked to speak on the subject of marriage. As always kids speak their mind in a clear and concise manner regardless of the subject.
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How do you decide who to marry?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. – Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. – Kirsten, age 10
What is the best age to marry?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. – Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. – Freddie, age 6
How can you tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. – Derrick, age 8
What do your Mom and Dad have in common?
Both don’t want any more kids. – Lori, age 8
What do people do on dates?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. – Linette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. – Martin, age 10
What would you do on a bad first date?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. – Craig, age 9
When is it OK to kiss someone?
When they’re rich. – Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. – Howard, age 8
Is it better to be single?
I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out. – Theodore, age 8
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. – Anita, age 9
How would the world be different if there was no marriages?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? – Kelvin, age 8
How would you make your marriage work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck. – Rick, age 10
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It’s always refreshing for me to read essays, stories, and remarks made by the kids. They’re able to cut through the BS and answer questions based on their bits and pieces of limited knowledge. It gives me hope for the future.
CLASS IS NOW IN SESSION
It’s time for two more lessons from those super dedicated and intelligent teachers from Every Useless Thing University. The source of endless supplies of knowledge mostly forgotten by the every-day citizen. Take detailed notes because our tests are tough and the failure rate has been climbing in recent years.
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Lesson #9 – What is Snot and Why is it Sometimes Green?
Snot is a slang term for mucus, a thin and slippery material comprising musins and inorganic salts suspended in water that’s produced by the mucous membranes inside the nose. It serves to moisten and protect the nose and throat while also trapping inhaled foreign matter, keeping it in the nose and thus preventing dangerous particles and germs from reaching the lungs, where they could cause damage. Mucus surrounds any foreign matter that is trapped and dries around it, producing a hardened piece of snot.
Mucus production is normal and healthy, but increased production in the respiratory tract is often a sign of a disease, such as the common cold.
When snot appears green or yellow, this is usually because the body has a bacterial infection, causing it to produce thick mucus containing pus excreted by the bacteria. When the body’s immune system detects the infection, it produces an enzyme called myeloperoxidase, which kills the bacteria in the mucus and expels it through the nose.
The nose produces almost a cupful of snot every day.
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Lesson #10 – Does Penis Size Vary by Race?
The penis sizes of men are frequently discussed and joked about. A large penis is coveted by many, considered a symbol of masculinity and thought to be an attractive quality to women. The size of a man’s penis is influenced by a number of factors, such as cold temperatures, which generally reduce the size of the flaccid penis to a lack of blood flow causing it to shrink.
One study found that the average length of the stretched, flaccid penis was 5.2 inches for White men, 5.7 inches Black men, and 4.2 inches for Asian men. Another study, meanwhile, found the average length of the unstretched, flaccid penis is 4 inches for White men and 4.3 for Black men. Black men’s penises were also found to be longer when erect, but only by 1 inch, while their circumferences were found to be in average 0.1 inch larger.
On the basis of these studies it is evident that the average black man’s penis is larger than the average white man’s which is in turn is larger than the average Asian man’s. Corroborating the latter part of this conclusion is a further finding that American condoms are 7.1 inches long, whereas Japanese condoms are 6.3 inches long. For this reason, at one time travel-guides recommended that male travelers should take their own condoms when visiting Asia.
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What have we learned today? First, snotty noses serve a useful purpose but wiping them is still mandatory so as not to gross out others.
Second, for you female students who overly concern themselves with penis size, the information contained in Lesson #10 should be helpful. You should always remember this important and useful adage to further assist you when choosing a possible boyfriend or mate, “It’s not the size of the club but how it’s wielded.”
CLASS DISMISSED
For as long as I can remember the “Battle of the Sexes” has raged on and on and on and on. After living through the bra burning years and ERA I thought it might finally ease up a little but once again I was wrong. With women’s salaries edging upward and their elevated management positions becoming the norm rather than the exception I’d hoped for the best. I was wrong again. Are you sensing a pattern here? No matter what I do in any association with any woman, I’m immediately wrong (whether I am or not) strictly because I’m a man.
My interactions with women both in the workplace and my personal life have resulted in my hearing the same old complaints and worn out clichés. “You men are all alike.” “It’s just like a man to do something like that.” “I can’t break through that glass ceiling because men discriminate against me.” “Men are unfair.” Are you seeing a particular pattern here too? Good, I hope you are.
The point I’m trying to make is that women have made a great deal of progress over the years but just can’t seem to acknowledge it. They want more! If they ruled the planet entirely they’d be upset that they aren’t ruling the entire universe and all those bad aliens out there are discriminating against them.
To further make my point I submit the following excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This article was written for male supervisors of women in the workforce during World War II. Read on ladies and see what having a double standard is really all about.
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Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees
There’s no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage. Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:
1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.
2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.
3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.
4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.
5. Stress at the outset the importance of time; the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.
6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.
7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.
8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.
9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman – it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.
10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.
11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.
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No ambitious person should ever just settle. Working hard and getting the job done still works whether your male or female. I think it’s time to drop the blame game against all men and get back to work. Just saying.
I spend a lot of my time watching and listening to people. It’s my most favorite of activities to be sure. I’ve recently began to see unusual patterns occurring in others which trouble me a great deal. It seems we as a people are loosing the ability to insult others with tact or sarcasm. I know, I was as stunned as you are. What is this country coming to if we lose that important ability. That’s one of the losses we suffer from too much political correctness.
"Your mother wears combat boots." was a good way for me to get my ass kicked in grade school. It was almost as bad as "Your mother dresses you funny." or "If my dog looked like your mother, I’d shave his ass and make him walk backward." Mother insults were always a good way to insult someone and be absolutely sure to get the proper reaction.
These days you can’t even call someone a liar, you must say “he’s diligently avoiding the truth”. That’s pussy talk in my opinion. Give me the good old days when someone wasn’t "educationally challenged" he was a moron or a dumb ass. It is said that the WW II generation was the greatest and I completely agree. They knew how to deliver an good insult that was polite, sarcastic, and devastating. No pussy talk for those guys or gals. Here are some classic insults by famous people of that era. Enjoy.
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“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill
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“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – Clarence Darrow
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“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx
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“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain
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“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde
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“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
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“Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.” – Winston Churchill’s response to George Bernard Shaw
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“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West
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“Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!” – Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
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“Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!” – Winston Churchill’s response to Lady Astor
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"There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure." – Jack E. Leonard
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"He has Van Gogh’s ear for music." – Billy Wilder
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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
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"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." – Winston Churchill
Three of my all time favorites, Mae West, Mark Twain, and Winston Churchill. They just don’t make them like that anymore and it’s a damn shame (In my humble opinion).
Before I start to write this posting I’m required to put on my cowboy hat, my boots, and my big ugly belt buckle. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not a Country & Western fan in any sense of the word. Unfortunately my born and bred Texan better-half has been a life long fan of the genre. She roams from room to room through the house every day, turning on multiple radios to blare that good old down home music every effing minute. It keeps me out of the house doing fifty percent more yard work than I would normally do. Maybe that’s her sneaky Texas way of making me work harder. If I’ve learned nothing from our years together I have learned to keep a close watch on her, Texans are sneaky!
I had a wonderful day off today because my crazy better-half and her even crazier daughter are off on another adventure. They left early today to attend the Country-fest Concert at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Massachusetts. I’m sure they were cheering all the way to Mass but what they didn’t know was just how loud I was cheering to see them go. An entire day without listening to music that makes me cringe. I worked in the yard for a good part of the day with my IPod blasting a wide variety of Blues, Rock, and NO C&W.
I was receiving text messages and photos for most of the day telling me just what I was missing. I was missing endless traffic, Country music fans by the thousands, and an endless number of drunken bums wearing their boots and cowboy hats. I’ll just bet that ninety percent of those crazies have never been on a ranch or had a close and personal conversation with a horse. A whole lot of wannabes trying to impress a few young ladies with their swagger and y’all’s.
I had a great day until eleven pm when I was awakened from my blissful sleep by two tipsy cowgirls making their way home from Boston. My better-half was so horse I could barely understand her and all of the laughing and screaming in the background didn’t help either. She called to let me know when she’d be arriving and that she was going to "wake my ass up" whether I liked it or not. I mildly threatened to end her life, said goodnight, and went back to sleep. She arrived home in the wee hours, fell into bed, and barely woke me at all.
Waking up this morning I opened one eye to see if she was prowling around. Next to me under a huge pile of blankets and pillows I found what was left of my better-half. She was snoring like a truck driver, smelled like beer, and was dreaming about Kenny Chesney I’ll bet. Ya, I know at least one cowboy crooner’s name. Please don’t hold that against me, my survival instinct requires I know enough Country names and trivia to keep her happy.
Yee haw y’all !
This has been one helluva week. One more fact that will help you understand what I mean by that statement is I hate doctors, hospitals, blood tests, and personal examinations. I can put up with a nurse every once in while but only as potential dating material. If past history tells me anything it’s stay away from nurses. The last nurse I dated (SLEPT WITH) had a tank of nitrous oxide next to her bed and spent every other stroke huffing on it with a face mask.
This week began with my blood tests. Normally it’s just one tube of blood used to check whatever. Because of Obamacare my doctor of ten years has given up his practice and now I’m once again "fresh meat" for the "new guy". He needs four tubes of blood so he knows where I’m coming from. That’s his statement not mine. My previous doctor had a lab as part of his practice where I could easily get blood drawn but not this "new guy". I was forced to get out of bed much earlier than I like, drive forty minutes to the hospital, to stand in line behind thirty other idiots. I felt like a freaking day laborer. A young lady called me into her room, sat me down, stuck me in the arm, sucked out the blood, and walked away shouting "Next!" at the top her lungs. Nothing like personal service.
Four days later I returned to the doctors office for my annual physical. The "new guy" arrived forty minutes late as I sat in this telephone booth sized room in my hospital gown freezing my nuts off. He looks about twenty-five years old and he’s from Peru. His accent was minimal, thank God, and I could understand almost everything he had to say. One handshake and he opens his laptop and begins to take notes. My computer file covers more than twelve years, two surgeries, and four colonoscopies but he has additional questions. I felt like I was on Jeopardy and I’m sure Alex Trebek would have been more fun.
He first tells me that prostate exams are for the most part unnecessary and then bends me over the table and shoves his ever so long latex covered finger right up my ass. No dinner, no chit chat, no wine, just "wham bang, thank you man". For such a little guy he has quite the large digits.
An hour later and we’re still doing paperwork so I can have another colonoscopy in December (MY FIRST XMAS GIFT) and an introduction to my new mandatory diet. I found out in short order that going forward I’m only permitted to eat rabbit food and drink black coffee. Read the labels he tells me, no fat, no calories, no dairy, no candy, no sugar, no soda, no flavored water, and no smoothies. The translation to that line of BS is I will never be permitted to eat anything that tastes good or even has flavor of any kind ever again.
A pat on the head, a "nice to meet ya"’ and he scampers away. A nurse hands me the date for my next appointment and I’m out the door and back on the street. That hour and a half probably will cost me upwards of $500.00 including the blood work up and a hundred of that will be out of pocket. Isn’t life just freaking wonderful?
Now I get to wait six more months for another hour of quality time with the "new guy" which will probably consist of stepping onto a scale to measure my weight loss. Really, can’t I just call it in? That would then only cost $495.00.
Shoot me now!
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